Saturday, May 15, 2010

Holy Hothouse, Batman!

I went plant shopping today with my husband. We discovered a new (to us) nursery and I couldn't believe we had never found this gem before. The place was massive - abundant with lushious plants and friendly, helpful staff. Their prices were extremely reasonable and the plants seemed very healthy. There were so many gorgeous planters, stuffed with colourful blooms and ornamental grasses. Everywhere I turned was another stunner for the eyes.

Today was sunny and warm. The kind of May day you pray for - perfect in every way. I was thoroughly enjoying myself poking through the posies when the dreaded achies started. Can't they ever leave me alone? Fibromyalgia is such a killjoy - the ultimate party crasher. There are times I just want to scream obscenities at this condition that betrays my body. I ignored the pain, for the most part and persevered, determined to enjoy every nook and cranny of the store. Of course, fibro's bratty cousin - fatigue, soon decided to rain on my parade, too.

I booted it in the ass, anyway and stayed the course. I needed to take a Trammy when we got to our car. My husband wanted to run a few more errands - I knew I shouldn't have, but I agreed to. A combination of too much running about and the heat left me completely bagged. When we arrived home in the late afternoon, I headed for bed and slept for 2 hours.

In the evening, we had a few friends over to play Scrabble. I had fun but it was a full day for me. A far cry from the days of over-scheduling my day planner. Now, I plan only one outing for the day. The experts call it 'pacing.' Learning to pace myself has not come easily - I'm impatient by nature and want things done yesterday. Again, tonight my tank was empty and I didn't get to go on an evening walk. I didn't accomplish everything on my to-do list and that still bothers me. I'm trying to cut myself some slack and be grateful for what I did have the strength to do. It doesn't come naturally to me - I have to consciously challenge my negative thought patterns. I never was any good with confrontations.

All good things come to those who wait, Proverbs tell us. Do you think they were referring to a nice nap at the end of a tiring day?

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