Wednesday, July 14, 2010

From The Bard to Bullets

Hello my friends,

I continue to live in a fibro-free zone. I feel like I've been given a new lease on life. I have to keep reminding myself that this new-found pain relief is artificial and not a cure.

If I remove the skin patch, the pain will likely return. Wouldn't it be great if it didn't? I have to ensure that I don't suddenly stop wearing it. It is a narcotic drug and I would experience some very unpleasant withdrawal symptoms. I want to stress here, that although I am taking an opioid drug to control pain, I am not experiencing euphoria or feeling 'high.' In fact, I've had no sedation or feelings of grogginess at all. It's just regular ole me, without the pain.

On Saturday, I attended the Bard on the Beach Shakespeare festival. It has become a summer-time ritual for my daughter, my brother and myself. In years past, I can vividly recall sitting through the plays in acute pain. Sometimes it was from endometriosis, which I no longer suffer from. Other times it was from the seemingly never-ending bowel nerve pain. In the last 3 years, fibro has been the culprit. I found it very uncomfortable to sit for any length of time and the chairs were undoubtedly not built for comfort. I have good memories of indulging in our Shakespeare ritual, despite the pain I always suffered.

This year was a stark contrast. It was a breeze making the trek from the parking lot to the outdoor tents in the park. I was able to concentrate on the play, follow it and enjoy it. During intermission, a short stretch outside in the sunshine was most welcome. I wasn't too tired to walk around the concession to buy my daughter and brother their expected treats: Bard Bars - 3 different kinds of yummy chocolate.

Sunday brought a completely different experience. Talk about a 360. My husband and a few friends had planned an excursion to a public shooting range. Holy Bullets, Batman! I have never shot a firearm before and for some inexplicable reason, this is on my 'bucket list.' I don't consider myself a 'gun' person. I've always had a healthy respect for them but would never own one myself.

It was suggested that I use a 22mm as I was the newbie in the crowd. I was nervous and excited at the same time. What would it feel like? Would it kickback? Knock me on my ass? As it turned out, there was no kickback at all as it was such a puny gun. I enjoyed it - is that a bad thing, I wonder? It was impossible to see if I was hitting my target until it was brought forward on the sliding lever. Turns out I hit the target with no problem. The bulk of the bullet holes were to the head. Trouble is, I was aiming for the middle! I want to go back another time and try out a bigger gun. I didn't get the kickback that I expected, the shockwave down my arm. I want it all! It's a 'safe' adrenaline rush for me.

A few weeks ago, prior to wearing the patch, I doubt I would have tried shooting a gun. I wouldn't have had the energy to even think about it. Sometimes, just holding a glass of water was painful. So, the upside is I'm enjoying having more energy and the ability to cross different experiences off my bucket list. I'm enjoying life rather than enduring life.

Next item on the list? It could involve a zip line or getting up close and personal with a dolphin! But not at the same time! That would be one for the books!

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